You Know You Are Mexican If...
#1. If you can run, swim or play soccer in chanclas, you've gotta be a
Mexican.
#2. If you don't have a bank, but rather keep your money rolled up in a
cookie jar, you must be a Mexican.
#3. If you can fit 4 riders on the bench seat of a pickup you must be a Mexican.
#4. If your late tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco truck, you
must be a Mexican.
#5. If that same tio left you a lawnmower and a weed wacker and instead you
started a landscaping business, well, yer still a Mexican.
#6. If you save the points from the back of a kool-aid packet, damn...yer a
Mexican!
#7. If you get pulled over by a cop or get a phone call from a collector and
you suddenly forget how to speak English, yer a
Mexican.
#8. If you have a family member that has personally seen the LeChusa or heard
the cries of the Llorrona .MEXICAN!!!!
#9. If you have ever hurt yourself and your mom rubbed the area chanting,
"Sana Sana, Culito de Rana", then yer a Mexican
#10.If you're dad constantly mixes up the pronunciation of "Ch" and "SH" then
yer a Mexican. (example: Cherry becomes Sherry and Shoe becomes Choe).
#11.If you have your last name on the back of your vehicle's window in old
English lettering, you are Mexican.
#12. If you play baseball and throw the sign of the cross and then kiss your
fingers every time you go to bat, damn...yer
Mexican
#13. If you refer to your wife as your Ruca, Your Wifey, Your Mija or your Old Lady,
then guess what, yer Mexican.
#14. If you "Throw a Grito" every time you hear Ramon Ayala, then not only
are you Mexican, yer a drunk Mexican!
#15. If you feel it necessary after every joke you crack to stick your tongue
out and go, "aaaaaah" then damn, you qualify as a
mexican. If you put your hand up to as if to get a high five from those
around you as confirmation it was a good joke, then you are a genuine Mexican.
#16. If you have ever been pinched in church and been told "pobrecito de ti
si lloras" you might be Mexican.
#17. If you grew up scared by someone called "La llorona" . . . you might be
a Mexican.
#18. If others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking,
you might be a Mexican.
#19. If you "te persinas" with a lotto ticket in your hand . . you might be a
Mexican.
#20. If you ask for something by "dame esa chingadera", instead of using its
correct name, you might be a Mexican.
#21. If you constantly refer to cereal as "con fleys" . . . you might be a
Mexican.
#22. If your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you for dinner,
even if she is in the next room, you might be a Mexican.
#23. If you compulsively yell out when you hear a
Vicente Fernandez song, youmight be a Mexican.
#24. If you use "manteca" instead of corn oil and can't figure out why your
butt is getting bigger . . . you might be a Mexican.
#25. If your family eats "pixa" instead of "pizza" on Sundays . . . you might
be a Mexican.
#26. If you have some "tias" that dress up in their "prom dresses" to go to
your birthday party at "el parque" you might be a Mexican.
#27. If you can't imagine anyone not liking "tacos de lengua" . . . you might
be a Mexican.
#28. If you are in a five passenger car with seven people in it and a person
is shouting "subanse, todavia caben!" . . .you might be a Mexican.
#29. If whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively dab on some
"vapo-rub" all over your chest and inside your nostrils . . . you might be a
Mexican.
#30. Your mom packs your "lonchera" every day even though you've just turned
thirty-two, you might be a Mexican.
#31. If you're one hour late for a function and you say "llegue temprano",
you might be a Mexican.
#32. If your favorite heroes were "El Chapulin Colorado", or "Cantinflas",
you might be a Mexican.
#33. If you kow that you can't eat any thing without "Salsa Valentina" you
might be a Mexican
#34. If you lost your social security card and you can't remember how you got it. You call your mom and explain her the situation. She replies 'don't worry mijo your tio can get your a new one.' Not only are you a Mexican but an illegal Mexican.
#35. If you don't need explanations to any of the above, you know you are
truly a Mexican.

AAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!!!