Writers block...I hate it.
There is a lot of thing that have been on my mind, most decision making ones. Like always. I have been thinking about the ministry I was doing for the past 5 years. All the things that went down, and how I felt cheated when I left with no transition time in between what was left behind and what was coming forward. Up to know I still haven't had the chance to talk about it with anyone, because I after leaving the ministry I was working for I realized I wasn't close enough to anyone to have a sit down and digest what went on. Just a series of confrontations about what a bad person I was. And I'm not saying I'm a saint. But I sat and listened when people were accussing me of something I wasn't guilty of because it was the right thing to do. Accusations like,'we almost called the authorities on you.' Just to help them mourn what was done to them. Man, that was hard. Especially if you had been reaching out for the longest time and not being listened to. Its not a good feeling when you have been part of a goal, a goal when you the main point is to play Jesus to a lot of children and adults. To go from feeling like you are valued and a part of a body to feeling like tossed and treated like an employee.
This is just me processing all my thoughts. I'M NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL. I'm just taking sometime on my little internet space and talking about my life. Lets just say this is part of my grieving.
There is a lot of thing that have been on my mind, most decision making ones. Like always. I have been thinking about the ministry I was doing for the past 5 years. All the things that went down, and how I felt cheated when I left with no transition time in between what was left behind and what was coming forward. Up to know I still haven't had the chance to talk about it with anyone, because I after leaving the ministry I was working for I realized I wasn't close enough to anyone to have a sit down and digest what went on. Just a series of confrontations about what a bad person I was. And I'm not saying I'm a saint. But I sat and listened when people were accussing me of something I wasn't guilty of because it was the right thing to do. Accusations like,'we almost called the authorities on you.' Just to help them mourn what was done to them. Man, that was hard. Especially if you had been reaching out for the longest time and not being listened to. Its not a good feeling when you have been part of a goal, a goal when you the main point is to play Jesus to a lot of children and adults. To go from feeling like you are valued and a part of a body to feeling like tossed and treated like an employee.
This is just me processing all my thoughts. I'M NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE, DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL. I'm just taking sometime on my little internet space and talking about my life. Lets just say this is part of my grieving.
1 Comments:
Figuring out how to grieve is good. It is work. I had to grieve some things of the past too. Hope you continue to do better. Your kid is cute.
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