I'm trying to hold on real hard
to something that I cannot see
something that at times I don't even know its there
And I don't even know why i'm trying to hold on
Don't know if at the end the story is really going to be true
I don't want to take my life in vain
But I wonder at times who i'm living it for
With fear
If I don't do right I'm fucked
And this wonderful disney dream can crush all in one instant
I've seen it before
I've seen a man gain and lose with one mistake
Can I really live like that?
I don't know
Bono says that he can't wait to see what He sees
I wonder if He is talking about God
Why wouldn't you Father make things more simple
You want a relationship but at times its so hard to take a hold
To feel you
In those times when I feel more outside than ever
Lonely without any shoulder to cry on
With out someone to hold me
And its hard, a stranger in a strange land
What is it about this
I'm I the only one who is missing something
Did I miss some informational talk the explanation for all this
And everything has a way in which to feel
I remember the first day of school at Jubilee, the first step towards living a "Christian life"
No one told me it was okay to mess up
I knew sin was bad but thats all I had
smoking bad, beer bad, catholicism bad, La Virgen Maria bad, who were these european preachers telling me this lie that Christ was only for the white
Quite a journey this has been full of ups and downs
And I wonder how long more i will go changing my theology
'Staring at the sun' is whats been giving me hope lately
I know I'm not the only one and I know someday I will get there