It's hard for me to accept that i'm jaded from past relationships that i've had in the past. And yet i'm a Christian, i allow myself to be manipulated by my feelings of insecurity. The bad thing is that sometimes i let it influnce my ministry. Maybe is just that i take notice of everything. But what can i do. That is the type of person that i'm. And I don't know if i can change that.
I let people hurt me. And it's not healthy. No kidding captain obvious you are problably saying. They only hope that i have is knowing the Grace of God. And how much He loves me. Eventhough at times i don't let myself believe that.

Not too long ago a close Christian friend of mine told me that she likes me. It was hard for me to hear her tell me this. Without anywords in my mouth, and with a knot in my throat that wouldn't let me respond i sat there looking down from the second floor of the building where we were talking. It was bad because I don't have the same type of feelings. I see her as a friend and sister in Christ and nothing else past that. We have a good friendship, or i should say we had a great friendship. Because right now i don't think either one wants to talk to each other. And that is bad. But things have to happen for a reason.

Sometimse I look back at the girls i've dated and all of them have a bad relationship with their fathers. Most have been non-Christians. And now i feel like God has used me to share his messege with them. But for the most part I hadn't noticed that. It's not until now that I'm beggining to realize that. I waisted a lot of time with girls instead of spreading His messege.
I think that Christian conferences should have more workshops on dating and sharing the gospel.

HEY CCDA WHAT DO U THINK ABOUT THE DATING THING