I guess is about time for me to drop a line. Well is been over a week since I got to Pasco. Just like everyother time I've been home on a visit. The time here I spent questioning my faith in trusting God with my next step in life. I've been here helping at the center for sharing with Glenn and Cheryl. And trying to influence thier interns. But I don't think any of them like me. Most of the time is been about confrontation. Which is something I'm used to. But the interns I'm working with are not. They can't hang very long before telling me to get the fuck out of their house or face. And its been all in good faith. Thats one sidel.

Dealing with my family has been hard too. My mom was venting with me when she told me she has tought abou suicide. Its hard to hear that. I wish I had a healthy family but the reality is other. And I care so much for them that it hurts even more.

What to do? What to do? I've been prayful. The center for sharing wants me to come back and live in the duplex with the guy interns and be an influence there. It would be good for them maybe for me to be here and also for my family but what about my desires to finish school and break a cycle. Something I had promised my self from along ago.

I do feel God telling me right now that I need to be a student rigth now.