Hey ya'll I hope everyone is having a great time. I've never mentioned this to anyone before but ever since I felt God's presence in my life and claimed my faith mine. I've been on a search. A search that involves a lot of ideas, ideals, reasons, customs, beliefs, ways of thinking and culture. Trying to find the true meaning of being a Christian. It's hard to get to such point in life, where you truly understand what it is. Everyday I try to live my life the way i feel God wants me too. But it seems like i never make it. But i have a peace that tell me I did a good job.

And i wish i can do more. I try to make God the center of my life and obey his commands and truly believe that He will take care of me but i fall short. I let my feelings of not being able to fundraise enough money to survive get in the way. Or not being able to reach the kid that i was trying to reach that week. Even expectations that I have from people in my own ministry. Even my reltionship with my girlfriend at times gets in the way. LIke today i felt like i needed to spend the day with my Savior to pray, read but she didn't see like that. She saw it as me not wanting to be around her.

Or my immigration status. I don't have papers ("prop. documentation" for those who don't know what i'm saying) and that gets in the way. I remember one church telling me that they wouldn't donate because I was illegal. What a pinche drag. How encouraging is that for me....it really makes me feel like keeping up with my calling.

"MEXICANO ASTA LA MADRE" is the name of a song sung by a popular Mexican band. The title of the song means Mexican to the max.

I thought it was funny. It's one of those narco bands that sing about drug traffic and being brave.

I WAS EATING TAMALES and having a cup of coffee accompanied by some coffee-mate, the cinammon vanilla créme. And thinking about how my life is such of mixture of cultures and tastes.

I grew up part of my life in Mexico( "MIGRA" bring it on baby) and got a good taste and a lot of fund memories of my early life there.

When i first came to the US, I remember shopping w/ my non-English speaking parents and not seeing a whole lot of Mexican products in the stores. Now you can get horchata water in a gallon just like getting a gallon of milk. Which is funny and great. Living away from home i don't have to go through all the trouble of making it myself because its not an easy job. You can even get enchilada sauce in a can. That just crazy. Of course it doesn't even compare to the one that my mom makes but it's ok. I just hope that my future wife can make enchilada sauce from scratch.

We can even buy oldies sung by young chicano singers to a banda beat. It's a great thing. I wish i knew enough about coputers to put one on this site for ya'll to hear.

Being Mexican it's a great thing. And i wouldn't change it for one thing. I don't have the time right now to write about how diverse my life is but next time i will.

Asta i see you al rato everybody.

Christmas has passed and we celebrated Jesus's birth. This was the first Christmas that I was away from my parents. It wasn't that bad.

Me and my roomate Eric went over to have dinner with my friend Calvin and his wife Janet. Calvin also had a family from cameroon(spll?) This was actually Christmas eve. After dinner, we came home and exchanged presents and headed over to midnight mass or misa de gallo as we Mexicans call it. Christmas day i took Eric over to Rudy's for chicken and waffels. It was goooood!

Then i went over to my girlfriends house for Pozole and tamales. As you can tell i had a cultural Christmas. I hope that you'll all had a wonderful time. Blessings.

"I MAY GIVE EVERYTHING I HAVE, AND I MAY EVEN GIVE MY BODY AS AN OFFERING TO BE BURNED. BUT I GAIN NOTHING IF I DO NOT HAVE LOVE"

This is what the apostle Paul writes. And as i read it. It makes me glad. I have been letting an 18 year old guy from Mexico live with me for two weeks. Two Thursdays a go right before my leadership meeting. He came to visit. I was strighten out my living room apartment area. When he walks in and sits on the old dirty futon my neighbor Tracey gave me. He sits down and starts sobbing. Saying that he felt like no one wants him and he feels alone in the world. Let me tell you a litte about the last three weeks before he step into my apartment. He had been staying with his sister who is my neighbor but because his involvement with the local drug dealers and gang bangers. He began to mess up.

On one occasion he slapt his sister who in return kicked him out. But took him back. In a different occation he slapt her again this time making her bleed from her lip. She waited for him to leave the apartment and grab all his stuff and kicked him out.

So, he had been staying in the back of our apartment building inside a non-working car. That Thursday he came in. I heard him out and prayed with him. He accepted Jesus as his personal savior.

Me and my roomates agreed to let him stay with us for two weeks until he got his stuff together. He told me that he was gone work and get some money together to go back to Mexico. This Friday is times up on the two weeks and so far he hasn't been able to get a job. He has been pretty much hanging out with his buddies. And smoking pot.

It hurts me because i decided to help him out of love. And he has used me and my roomates. There is a big chance that he is gone end up once again on the street.

The time of the year is coming up. Exciting for me. I'm almost done with this semester at Pasadena city college. Good grades so far. I got

finals this coming week. I'm not as excited about the classes as i'm with the relationships i built with different people. God allowed me to

touch a few fragile lives at school and out side of school.

Today, For a fitness class our teachers Misses Lee and Misses Iverson took the class for a walk. It was a nice 25 minute class around a

upper class neighborhood. You can always tell by the homes and by the clean streets. Another funny way that you can tell is rich people

always have gardeners and if you leave or know about southern california you know what i'm talking about. Los Jardineros. But as we

walked i was able to walk with a few class mates as well as my teacher Misses Lee. It was good talking to her. In my life time of school I've

always felt like my teachers perceive me as another Mexican kid. Little do they know about my Father and the relationship I have with him.

A lot of my teachers didn't know that I'm a youth worker. Whe they find that out they are usually act surprise.

But anyways let me shy away from that. And go back to walking with Misses Lee. As we walked and shared about each others

experiences I learned that kind of like me she also comes from a lower class family. Nobody in her family went to college. She was the first one.

She didn't know how far she could achieve. It was her teachers that encourage her to do right for herself and keep on going with her
studies.

In my short walk i have met over a dozen teachers. Here is a salute to all the ones that left foot steps in my heart and cared enough to encourage me and help know that i can do it.

MISS JUANITA: KINDERGARDEN

MAESTRO CHON:3RD GRADE

MISS. RODRIGUEZ: 6 GRADE

MISSES JACKSON: 7TH GRADE

MISSES REYES: 8 & 9TH GRADE

MR. ROBERT GORDON: 9TH THANKS FOR TEACHING ME HOW YOU BRAKE HORSES

ERICKA GORDON: THANKS FOR SHOWING GOD'S LOVE TO ME (FIRST BIBLE STUDY LEADER)

MR. PHIL BULLARD 10TH & 11TH GRADE: I WAS LOST MAN AND YOU PULLED ME INTO YOUR CHURCH (THANKS DAD)

MR. HUNINGTON: 11TH &12TH GRADE THANKS FOR ALL THE SNOW AND THE COLD NIGHTS IN SCHUIM BAY.

MR. DAVID URANGA: MY POLITICAL SCIENCE INSTRUCTOR I DIDN'T KNOW A COLLEGE CLASS COULD BE SO INTERESTING.

MISSES LEE AND MISSES IVERSON: THANK YOU FOR THE EXERCISE. MISSES LEE I ENJOYED OUR WALK.


ALL THE OTHERS:

GLENN CROSS, SHERYL BROTJE, DON THOMAS, JEORGE GARCIA (MR. "G") NICOLAS SAVALA,

JOANNE FROM GOD'S GANG TO LIGHT (THANKS FOR GETTING ME TOGETHER W/ HUMBERTO, BROTHERS TO THE END)

DEREK PERKINS AND RUDY CARRASCO THANKS FOR BOTHERING ME AT 4 IN THE MORNING TO DRIVE YOU TO THE AIRPORT.

(DEREK I FORGIVE YOU AND LOVE YOU BRO, GOD HAS A PLACE WAITING FOR US DON'T LISTEN TO THE DEVILS LIES)

KAREN PERKINS, KAFI M. CARRASCO, ANNE TIPTON (THESE WOMEN HAVE LOVED MY LIKE A SON)

MY GIRLFRIEND WENDY LARIOS WHO IS SOON TO BE A TEACHER. THANK YOU FOR ENCOURAGING WITH MY SCHOOLING

AND LOVING ME REGARDLESS OF MY FLAWS AND WEAKNESSES. TE

QUIERO MUCHO.

AND TO ALL THE OTHER TEACHERS WHO HAVE TAKEN THE TIME TO TEACH. YOU ARE AWSOME.

I feel painfully wrong
Today i didn't want to get up to go to class
I'm in love with a girl that at the present time feel we are not compatible
I've put my time and my emotional energy into my relationship with her
and now i have to hold back my feelings for her
And i don't want to do that
My stomach hurts and i don't have the emotional energy to put into anything
I don't feel like doing anything.
I wish God could heal both of us in a split second but He dosen't work like that