Thursday, February 12, 2004

I'm with my class watching Shreck. Very funny movie. Today is their friday because there is no school tomorrow. So, they get their friday break on thursday. I promised them to do something extra for them on fridays if their performance on homework and behavior during the week was superb (spll?). They been good so today I got them a movie and some flamin' hot cheetos, the lemon ones and some coca-cola to wash it down. They are happy.

Please be praying for the kids here at the harmbee. I've been trying to be more intentional about getting involved in their lives and getting accross the love I've received from JC. My students names are Kevon, Jarod, Ana, Kiara, Maggie, BB, Ryan Omar, Christian, Fernando and Benjamin. Please keep these guys in prayer.
Thank you. Much love.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

I'm in the college room with one of the little ones. We have good news club today but a few of the kids weren't paying attention or following the rules. So, we had to take them out. I sent two back to good news with the promise they were going to behave now. The other one is still in here.

I'm kind of sleepy. I wish I had an ice cold coca cola right now. That would wake me up right away and refresh me. But gotta stick it out sin soda. Today I'm going home after program and finish the last two section in my math book. This coming thursday we have our final.
At 10:30am, on thursday. I'm meeting Jaquelin from Purto Rico. She is getting her masters at Fuller and wants to do an evaluation on our program. I'm going to catch up on my sleep this weekend. I plan on sleeping in every day until spring semester starts which is next tuesday. We all need to rest. This semester has been killer for me. I've been gettting to sleep late at night and wakeing up around 5:45am every day.

Monday, February 09, 2004

Just got back from the center. It was a bit crazy today doing homework with the kids. At first almost everyone said they didn't have many so I told them they had to read the bible. Then, everyone remembered they had something else to do.
I spent most of the time today trying to get them to focus. But not one single child was able to do so. All the kids were hyped up about ballet. So, we tried to do homework for like 30 minutes then they went to ballet.
I got a chance to hang out with two girls. One of the two was saying that she thinks her granpa is going to die. And the other one upon hearing her mate, shared that her grandpa had passed away. I told them both that my grandpa died and that the last time I saw him was when I was 8yrs old. Then I talked to them about our gain as believers over non-believers in Christ. We have the promise that after death we gain life in Christ. It was good. Then they helped me vacuum the room.
Life continues and some of us stay behind. Or stuck in a moment you might say. I been on this emotional rollercoaster these past weeks. Trying to make since of it all.

A friend of mine asked me why I thought there was a force making me believe the outcome of my life depended on something else or other people. Its hard to answer that question because I don't know the answer. Maybe sometime I stopped having faith and it all went down hill from there. I know God is soveirgn and He has a plan for me. I know that His plan for me is good and its going to bring me closer to being more in the likeness of Him. But for me its painful. At least right now.
Problems hitting left and right. But in the midst of all that I'm holding on.

Its hard to realize the reality of how ugly we are when we are compared to Christ being. And Gods biggest most important command is to love each other, to see past the ugliness.

Sunday, February 08, 2004

The house is peaceful and quiet right now. Its nice. I went to church today, the twins and another boy from the community name Rigo came with us. I enjoyed the sermon today. I felt a little convicted about how I let my feelings over take my actions. It was good. Didn't stick around much after the service. I wasn't in the mood much to socialize. I grabbed the kids and like usual took them to Rick's Tacos to grab some cheeseburgers. After taking them there they don't wanna go back to McD's. We got the food and came home. Their parents came to pick them up early today like around 2:30. Last sunday, they were here until around 8 or 9 pm. But its all good.

On the way to church, Rigo sat in the front next to me. We had a good conversation. They like going to sunday school with the rest of the 5th and 6th graders. I was asking him what he was learning so far. He was telling in his own words "we been learning about how we are like Gods sons and he is kind of like our Father." And then he asked me about mercy. I explained the difference between justice,mercy and grace so he could understand all three better. Today, they said all they did was play a game. In teams, they were asked questions about the lessons they have been learning in the last few sundays. I'm glad they like it.

Right now I have this massive headache. For like the past few hours, and I've been sitting hoping it will go away so I can get to my studying but its not going away. grrrr!!!!

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Mi Historia Condensada
Let me go ahead and apoligize for mispellings. Don't wanna offend any of you writers or be laughed at. La inseguiridad.
My journey coming to America is a trip. Like many of you know I wasn't born here in the states. When I was about 8yrs old my parents, invited by a drug lord from southern california during that time, decided to make the journey and cross the border. I remember coming over was not too long after my confirmation. Because I wore the white outfit I used for my confirmation and usually you just get rid of those clothes after confirmation, I had a white polo shirt and white bell bottom pants. We got on a plane in Colima City to Tijuana were we were picked up by my uncle rafa and his wife. From there we went to this raunchy hotel. Which was used to hide immigrants until their coyote came to get them across the border, it had secret exits in the back, and the rooms had at least four ways to exit, just in case you had to do this. Well, we were suppose to wait for a guy that was going to pick us up. I think we were there for two days. The first day we tried crossing, we failed. Appearently, the coyote that showed up wasn't the guy that was going to get us across. He was just some dude trying to make a quick buck off of whom ever, and I kind of knew that. This guys breath smelled like liquor. I knew it wasn't the style of the people who were getting us across, he was dirty and had low dignity. All of this made sense after afterwards, becuase we got detained by the TJ police twice. And we had to pay them off with a good chunk of money. Well, it seemed a lot to me at the time.
The second day, early in the morning, someone in his early thirities shows up at our hotel door, and told us he was sent by Chuy, which is my moms brother. I remember he was wearing a burgandy, windbreaker suit and running shoes. Hair was slicked back and a gold chain around his neck. He reminded me of Manny from Scarface. We took a taxi to the ouskirts of TJ. Then we went down this dirty hill, crossed the freeway and walked along the long fence. I remember a lot of benders. People were selling tacos, tostadas, candies, sodas, all kinds of goodies.
After that, I remember walking across a field, I remember hiding from a helicopter. After the field, we were going through this green bushy area, we passed three guys sitting by a creek that were lost, like many people they didn't get a coyote who knew the way so they got lost. Then, we ended up behind a row of warehouses. As I remember, it looked like we were behind a plaza, imagine how the back of all the stores would look like. No division between the wall, just a door that leads to the particular store and a garbage dumpster. After walking for a couple minutes, two young guys came rushing asking us if we wanted a ride. Our tour guide agreed and paid them off. They put us in a brown chevy van with no windows and drove us passed all the warehouses. Then we got dropped off at a parking area. We got into our tour guides car, which was a like metal brown mercedes. It was a nice car. I remember my mom sat in the front passanger side and me and my dad sat in the back.
From there we got driven to Ontario were people were waiting for us.
And like promised, my dad got a job working for this drug lord. We moved in with my uncle at first, whom lived on the ranch owned bt this guy, after my uncle and aunt moved out and we stayed at the house. We lived on the ranch and kept watch after it, my dad took care of some of the animals on the ranch. They had horses and fighting cocks. Since, my dad knew got to train fighting cocks, his main job was training the fighting cocks and making sure they were healthy and in good condition to fight. This guy also, owned a construction company where my dad would get extra hours it he needed to. This guy would buy homes remodel them and sell them. Everytime this happened my dad would put in extra hours doing construction. Thats what I remember about my dads job. My mom cleaned homes for his associates wives.
I loved living at the ranch. It was my second experience being around drug dealers. And when I say drug dealers I don't mean your local guys hanging out on the corner selling dimes and nickles. I mean big time. These guys were the ones that received shipments coming from the south and enjoyed profit that came from it, and they sure knew how to do it. Cars, clothes, their houses it was easy to tell who was banking in the doug. I remember the guy we worked for. He had a big house were he spent most of his time which was near the ranch. The house had a big swimming pool. And he had some cool cars that he kept there. He had a corvette, a ford short box truck and an old but well maintained chevy. All of them black.
Back in Mexico, I remember going up into the mountains to take food every once in a while to guys growing marijuana. These guys were not dressed up nice or drove nice cars. They did have a lot of fire power. They also had horses but no cars. The first time I saw a field of it, it was amazing to me. Luscious green leaves, it was pretty. Over in the states, I didn't see much drugs. But I knew what was going on. I remember seeing heroin for the first time. It looked like black clay.
My life there at the ranch was waking up in the morning to help feed the animals. Which were alot. About 500 fighting cocks and like 40 horses. I went to schoool, came back and went to ride horses all afternoon until it started getting dark. That was my life every day. On the weekends, there would always be parties at the ranch. My dad and my brother, build a lienso charro. Which is a rodeo Mexican style. All these guys would come and compete with each other, other times they would have cock fights. Most of them were part of the same organization. There was one time two guys were betting like 5 grand on a cock fight. And it wasn't only Mexicans that came. There was one Italian guy who was connected. Everyone, reffered to him as el italiano, And just one time I remember some guys that were like middle eastern. They had those rags they wear on their heads. I remember all these nice trucks showing up. Mexican drug dealers have a thing with trucks.
But one thing that I remember that was significant, was that I was liked a lot by all of them and I remember looking up to them. I remember getting advice from them as well as money. Kind of like the white dude from "Good Fellas" or the Itialian kid from "A Bronx Tale." Life was good.
This was my life when I first came to the U.S. I went through some racial experiences. I remember getting punched by this black kid, but it might of been by accident. And I also remember being called beaner and wetback, even by some of the Mexican-American kids. That was the worst, being put down by my own race, Crespo talks about this. But it didn't affect me much because I had a certain confidence. I felt I had power behind me. And I did.
I remember standing out by the entrance of the ranch with a friend of mine and one of the muscles. While were standing out there one of the older kids that teased my friend and I, walked by. I remember saying something about this kid bothering us at school. And the kid said something back. And flipped us off. The muscle guy(i don't know what else to call him) walks across the road and beats the crap out of this kid. Now, the muscle was problably in his early twenties.
I'm gonne stop here and continue later. Some of you might not connect this to being latin in christ but I aint done yet. I'm gonne continue later.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

I was sleepy throughout math class today. I stayed up last night and, the material we were covering was kind of boring, a combination of the two was killing me. Teachers always makes a big difference. She was kind of lacking today. Not her usual perky, joking in a teaching manner way. but I survived.
Right now, i'm in the afterschool program with the 5th and 6th graders. The younger kids are having Good News. I'm in the classroom with these guys because having them bouncing basketballs out in the court is distracting to the little kids having good newss. Usually the older kids have bible study with Florence, except today. I'm assuming she is taking care of business.
Its nice to have wireless internet at the harambee. While the kids do their homework i'm able to do some of mine. Don't worry Rudy I'm playing attention to the kids.

I passed all my fall classes. I feel good. Although I could of done better. I'm not going to beat myself over the end results.