Well for past week i've had strept throat. I'm on the healing path now. So, I feel a lot better.
Last week, my friend Tim Grey heard about my need for a car, and he got me one. It's a 1984 Chevy Cavalier stationwagon. It's a bucket, which is good 'cause it will keep me humble with the ladies. I like it. I was coming home from school today and picked up some of the youth at the bus stop and dropped them off at school. They like the car. The best thing is that is spacious. So, i can pack a bunchof kids in there. God is good isn't he.

We are coming closer to the end of this semester. I'm getting ready for finals. I'm excited to know that PCC will be changing from a semester to a quarter. which means that i'll be able to get out of there and over to Cal State sooner then anticipated.
I'm gone be praying that God gives me the strenght and knowledget to do good in school. I want to be able to pass all my classes. It's hard at times because of all the other things I'm involve in and require my focus.

I don't have anyting to write about. Other then the fact that i have strept throat and that i feel like crap.

I do have to send some praises up to Him. I've received a few blessings with the fundraising.

A man had a son who was full of anger

one day the man gave his son a bag full of nails and a hammer

He said, ''son, every time you get angry drive a nail into our fence"

One day, the son drove thirty-seven nails into the fence

As time when by the son began to notice that he didn't get as angry often

so he told his father, "Dad, i don't get as angry as often anymore"

So, the dad told him, " Son, every day that goes bye that you don't get angry pull a nail from the fence."

so the son did. Over time the son was able to pull all the nails from the fence.

Leaving the fence witha bunch of wholes.

When we hurt someone we are able to say a i'm sorry and pull the nail out. But no matter how many times we say i'm sorry the scar still

remains.

At times I feel like I'm not doing what God is asking me to do. And I wonder if it's God calling me to go somewhere else or is the devil

telling me lies. It's so easy to walk away when things are going wrong or not the way we want them to go. I have dreams of being with my

parents and loving them. And dreams of going back to Mexico and starting the business that I had in mind five years ago. It's hard being

illegal in this country. Not really having the opportunity to do much. To have to rely in other people to use their name even to get a car.

That makes me mad. Mad because here I'm working for a ministry. With a need that I can't do much about unless somebody steps up and

takes a couple swings for me. People who are in control big ministries and big churches. Who could easily try to help me out. But yet they

don't . I'm trying to figure out if they just see me as just another dude who is around. Doesn't really have much. Don't got a college degree,

can't really understand the dynamiccs of the whole networking ministry thing, community development. And all that. Doesn't know how to

work a computer. That's the way I feel right now.

So, I'm I wrong for thinking like that? I don't know. I don't feel the freedom in this free country. I want out.

I was driving back from schoo this morning down California avenue i believe it was. I witnessed a crashed. Two young guys in their early

twenties. It was bad. As i got out of the car and walked towards the crash calling 911. One guys exited his car with his face bright red with

blood. He was screaming at the guy inside the other car. I talked to him and asked him to calm down. He sat on the curve and put a piece

of cloth over his bleeding wound. I began talking to the guy that was in the other car. Trying to see if he was alright. All he could say was

that he was hurt. The driver door was jammed over his left leg. As other people got to the scene including a lady detective. I left the

scene. And as I was going home again. A song came on the radio 90.3. Christian radio station. The song said "I've been watching over

you and protecting you." I was 2 seconds behind that crash.

It's hard for me to accept that i'm jaded from past relationships that i've had in the past. And yet i'm a Christian, i allow myself to be manipulated by my feelings of insecurity. The bad thing is that sometimes i let it influnce my ministry. Maybe is just that i take notice of everything. But what can i do. That is the type of person that i'm. And I don't know if i can change that.
I let people hurt me. And it's not healthy. No kidding captain obvious you are problably saying. They only hope that i have is knowing the Grace of God. And how much He loves me. Eventhough at times i don't let myself believe that.

Not too long ago a close Christian friend of mine told me that she likes me. It was hard for me to hear her tell me this. Without anywords in my mouth, and with a knot in my throat that wouldn't let me respond i sat there looking down from the second floor of the building where we were talking. It was bad because I don't have the same type of feelings. I see her as a friend and sister in Christ and nothing else past that. We have a good friendship, or i should say we had a great friendship. Because right now i don't think either one wants to talk to each other. And that is bad. But things have to happen for a reason.

Sometimse I look back at the girls i've dated and all of them have a bad relationship with their fathers. Most have been non-Christians. And now i feel like God has used me to share his messege with them. But for the most part I hadn't noticed that. It's not until now that I'm beggining to realize that. I waisted a lot of time with girls instead of spreading His messege.
I think that Christian conferences should have more workshops on dating and sharing the gospel.

HEY CCDA WHAT DO U THINK ABOUT THE DATING THING

THE BIBLE SAYS......

"for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting

life." John 3:16

"For all have sinned and have fallen short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

"For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 6:23

".....If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved." Romans 10:9

HOW TO RECEIVE CHRIST:

1. Admit your need (I am a sinner).

2. Be willing to turn from your sins (repent).

3. Believe that Jesus Christ died for you on the cross and rose from the grave.

4. Through prayer, invite Jesus Christ to come and control your life through the Holy Spirit. (Receive Him as Lord and Savior).

WHAT TO PRAY:

Dear Lord Jesus,

I know that I am a sinner and need Your forgiveness. i believe that you died for my sins. I want to turn from my sins. I now invite You to

come into my heart and life. I want to trust and follow You as Lord and Savior.

In Jesus' name. Amen.

IF YOU PRAYED THIS PRAYER,

THE BIBLE SAYS.....

"For whoever calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved." Romans 10:13

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one

can boast." Ephesians 2:8,9

Turn the lights down

don't let them see

that we are coming

no miss I don't wear a sombrero

nor I'm I a vaquero

but I come from the south

where my roots still remain

but no in vain

I thought I was free coming here

But I can't leave

and THE MAN I can't bear

trying to catch my brown sking in despair

only to question and kick me from here to there

who would it be if not me

picking your fruit and vegetables off your trees

turn the lights down

don't let them see

I wrote this summer 2000 in Chicago

Hey ya'll. Finally the CCDA conference past. It was good. It's always good to be around a bunch of Christian people. Especially

when you have some type of connection with them besides the fact that we are brothers in Christ. I was able to hang out with

friends from all over the US. It was a real joy to see my friend Brandon. I met Brandon when he was 16 with a bullet. Back in

1997. We were both summer interns at Harambee living with Derek and Rudy. I was 17 going on 18. We both were roomates at

the big house. I remember sneaking around to have a smoke together. It's been a long times since then and a lot has happened to

the both of us. He went back to Ohio and I went back to Washington. We both grew up around gangs and drug dealers but in two

different cultures I being mex to the max and him being as african american as candied jams. Which by the way we mex call

camotes enmielados. See there is not a whole lot of differences in the two cultures except the color of our skin. But I don't want to

focus on that right now. I do want to say is that I admire Brandon for all he has done and is doing. In 2002, he came back to the

harambee to get away from all that was holding him back from serving God. He went from being at the harambee learning about

youth work, to going back home, to going to jubilee Youth Ranch and finishing his GED. At the moment he is in Phili. Brandon is a

program director for Brotherly love. A ministry youth outreach that Bryan Robinson started.

It's amazing how God can work on you into you give in. And learn the true love that He has for us.

Let me tell you what's been happening. SUMMER TIME: Our summer was very succesful. Over the past years we had an average of 80
children participate in our summer program. This past summer we cut the number down to 30. We wanted the children to have more one on one time with their teachers. Many of the kids around our community are well below their reading level. Thanks to Diane Simonsen we were able to train our summer teachers and to test the kids on literacy levels so we could be able to place them according to their reading level. Besides reading, we had our teachers focus also on writing and math. For the five or six weeks that we have summer program we have a field trip every Friday. On one occasion we took the children to the LA ZOO. I was wlaking along with Shayanna, one of the 3rd graders, who is also my neighbor, and she was able to read the information about the animals without having to stop and think about how to pronounce any of the words. It made me happy to hear her read like that.