O.K. I think is time for me to write something in this thing. I'm doing just O.K. School is almost over this semester. And I have been able to feel the stress of finals. This past weekend since friday all the way to Monday. No joke! I was studying. From the time I gotta up to the time I went to bed. The exam I was studying for was about our vision and hearing, and Schizophrenia. All which are hard topics. There is so much to know. The most complicated thing to learn is cells and their axons and how the carry neurotransmitters through action potentials and all that. It is hard. And learning all the genetic stuff. But its good. I appreciated because you learn so much. And I know all of it is important stuff to know.
Thanks giving. I guess it was good. I don't come from a culture that celebrates this a whole lot. Eventhough that has been changing in the last few years. I think my family is becoming more accustome to the idea.
Down here in southern california I celebrate the holydays with people from the community where I live. And eventhough is nice to be around them all. It is still kind of painful not to have close family around. Even a brother or a sister, biological that is. There is always a feeling of sadness and loneliness. Sure, I get invitations to here and there but its not the same.
I was thinking about two people in particular that might have fellow feelings as I. But then again they might not.
Things I'm thankful for:
1. My life, even though most of the time I don't know why i'm here.
2. My friend cindy (cindy has really made me feel encouraged in the last few days) and all my other friends.
3. My family
4. Glenn and Cheryl.
5. Harambee.
6. Being able to go to college (undocumented)
7. Gods blessings.
8. Gods widom.
9. Tim and his family and their church
10. Wendy
These are in no particular order.

Another week goes by. We have a group from Cal Poly SLO here at the harambee. They are gonne be working on changing the wood chips in the childrens playground.

I had to do it. "When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
Emo Philips.

Its about that time for me to give a quick update. Hmmm...what to wirte? Jesus please help me. Well, I'm trying to figure out ways in which to change how we try to cover up for ourselves. Now please don't think that I'm having some sort of issue. The more and more I learned about psychology the more interested I become in human behavior. Regardless of the level of education I have right now. I feel like God has granted me the wisdom of knowing when something is up with people. You know? Things that need to be dealt with. For example, Not too long ago one of my classmates was talking to me (not during class time) and she was sharing stuff in general. And out of the blue she says "you know my dad left me when I was 10yrs old." Which was a bit of a surprise to me. For her to come out and say that. I knew right away what was going on. Needless, to say she needs deal with that issue or else is going to keep on hurting her. Now, mind you I was in schock for minuet there. And not too long after that she tells me she is a stripper. So, i'm like ok. I had no idea what to say to her. But I did understand her need for parental love, "the father figure." and the hook 'stripper. How do you deal with that. One things for sure. I couldn't deal with it. So, I just prayed for her.

Lovely traces
I can sense you in everything
The way that you move me
Takes me far away
I seek no escape
I'm dreaming through your eyes
I am wandering through your mind
I'm overtaken by the way that you deliver me
I'm transcended
There's no place i'd rather be
Than here in heaven
Without you i'm incomplete
It's hopeless

You consume me, you consume me
Like a burning flame running through my veins
You consume me moving through me
Anytime, anyplace you invade my space
You consume me, you consume me

Wholly devoted
I immerse myself in you
Baptize me in your love
Cause drowning in the thought of you
Floods my soul
I'm taken by the things you do
God, you know
It doesn't matter what i lose
I'm yours

i am in your hands
Under your command
Like a puppet on a string
lord you know
I am willing to
Put my faith in you
So before the world i sing

You consume me, you consume me
Burning flame, through my veins
You consume me moving through me
Anytime, anyplace you invade my space
You consume me, oh you know that i surrender
I am consumed, i'm consumed with you

There's no other way i can fly
It's you and i, you and i
There's no other way i can fly
It's you and i, you and i

I'm trying to learn html on my own, since none of my ingenious computer geeky friends want to teach me

This is a song by Alanis Morissette. I like it a lot.
These are the thoughts that go through my head
In my backyard on a sunday afternoon
When I have the house to myself and I’m not
Expending all that energy on fighting with my boyfriend
Is he the one that I will marry?
Why is it so hard to be objective about myself?
Why do I feel cellularly alone?
Am I supposed to live in this crazy city?
Can blindly continued fear induced regurgitated life-denying
Tradition be overcome?
Where does the money go that I send to those in need?
If we have so much why do some people have nothing still?
Why do I feel frantic when I first wake up in the morning?
Why do you say you are spiritual
Yet you treat people like shit?
How can you say you’re close to god
And yet you talk behind my back as though I am not
A part of you? why do I say I’m fine when it’s
Obvious I’m not? why’s it so hard to tell you what I want?
Why can’t you just read my mind?
Why do I fear that the quieter I am the less you will listen?
Why do I care whether you like me or not?
Why is it so hard for me to be angry?
Why is it such work to stay conscious and so easy to get stuck
And not the other way around?
Will I ever move back to canada?
Can I be with a lover with whom I am a student and a master?
Why am I encouraged to shut my mouth when it gets too close to home?
Why cannot I live in the moment?

There is a struggle going on
A struggle from within
many people know is there But they don't realize it
spending enourmous amounts of time trying to figure it out
and its not until we recognize it that we are able to beat it from with in
not from the outside
nothing can make us change
we are the change because it comes from within
God gave us that ability
The whole idea of waiting on God. I think people have taking this wrong. I think God is waitng on us.
we have the choice
we can keep ourselves there or we can move on
the thing is that its hard to get pass it

1. If u can fit four riders on the bench seat of a pickup, while in the back twelve are standing up. You are a Mexican.
2. If you can run, ride a llegua, and play f?tbol all while wearing chanclas,
Mexican status!!
3. If your late Tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco vending
business, yes you're a Mexican.
4. If you have ever hurt yourself and your Mamasita rubbed the area while
chanting, "Sana, Sana, Colita de rana..." You're Mexican, big time!!!
5. If you have your last name in old English lettering anywhere on your car,
6. truck, or tattooed on your back. Yes, You ARE a Mexian. (proud one too).
7. If you refer to your wife as; your ruca, your hina, your wifey, your old
lady, or your vieja.  guess what? you're a California born Mexican.
8. If you  throw a "Grito" every time you hear Vicente Fernandez, Then not only are you a Mexican, but you are a drunk Mexican.
9. If you have ever been pinched in church and been told "pobrecito de ti si
lloras" or "Vas a ver horita que salgamos."  This has happened to every good
Mexican, and yes your definitely a Mexican.
10. FAMILY="SANIf you grew up scared of someone called La Llorona, or fear the dark because of El CuCuy! Yes! Mexican!
11.Si te persinas with a lotto ticket in your hand before every drawing, your in the Mexican Zone!!!
12. If you ask for something by "dame esa chingadera" instead of calling it by
its name, yep! Mexican!
13. If you constantly refer to cereal as "con fleys" or pizza as "picxa" you're a Mexican.
14. If you use manteca instead of vegetable oil and can't figure out why your butt is getting bigger... you might be a Mexican.
15. If you have some Tias that dress up in their prom dresses to go to your birthday party at "el parque" you are a Mexican.
16. If  your Tias and Abuela dress up in their Sunday best, nylon, heels and all
to go to the "Remate." Then yes you are a Mexican.
17. If most of the houses on your block are painted bright pink, mint green, and
purple. Yes Mexican!!!
18. If you use the bushes in front of your house, the fence, or the top of an old car to dry laundry. Yes your a Mexican.
20. If you're sick and your mamasita rubs "Bicks" into your nostrils (or ear lobes) and gives you "jugo de cebolla" with sugar, (Grandma's recipe) to help
relieve your symptoms, Dang!! you're Mexican.
--If you don't need any explanations to the above then you know u are a Mexican.

I just read that Mike Yaconelli past away. He was in a car accident in northern california. he was an author and speaker. He was the owner and cofounder of Youth Specialties.

The first time I read this beattitude I cried. I knew I was messed up. Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God

This is a piece of scripture out of Psalm 91. When I was living crazy i used to pray for angels of protection and mercy to be around me. "He will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways"

This is what my girlfriend sent me. She was trying to encourage me.
For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:8-10

Son cortos los dias que quedan en un futuro
Un futuro que aun que cerqua no te tengo a ti
Un vacio en mi pensamiento que con gran voz
Me grita que te extraña
Tus manos llenas de experiencia y ternura
Una ternura que por los pasados 3 años no te a tenido
Mi cara rasposa extraña ese tentar que en silencio me decia
Todo estara bien por que tienes tu alguien que te cuida
Como extraño tus risas maternales que llenan a mi alma
De gozo, gozo que aunque la vida me marchitara mi alma
No se iba de mi, por que aunque mi corazon roto
Tu siempre me consolabas, aunque lleno de pecado
Tu me aseptabas Sin ningun reproche

well, i just got an email from the contact person for the vista hermosa application. It seems like I didn't complete the application. What a drag. I feel bad. I don't know why. I can't get my shit together. I guess this is one of those bad days.

Horale! Well, its official i'm without a cell phone. I had an accident with the one I had. I called my service provider to see if they would give me a new one. Since they got so many. But they refused. So, i had to cancel my account and get rid of my electronic leash. Which felt good. I just have to pay them $175 which is a drag. But good business people are smart like that. note to self "take time to read the contracts you sign."
I got a "B" in my Psych exam. I just took another math test yesterday. So, i'm wating for the results for that. Those are the news for today folks.
Have a blessed day, and keep on asking God for this Mexican. Peace.