some kid just came in the center. He was looking for Cheryl trying to find a job. I was like how old r u. He said "i'm 17". Why can't you get a job? He is like "Oh! cause I just stabbed somebody like two days ago." And they won't hire me anywhere.
There was a sense of yeah I'm all Messican bad-ass. And I just stabbed somebody so i should be able to get a job anywhere but the won't hire me.

well life goes on. I had a good overall weekend. On friday I was going to the movies with 3 of the nephews but two ditched me and decided to go the fair. So, it was just me and my nephew Miguel Angel. It was cool he wanted to see Freddie Vs. Jason. I was a little on the edge about not being able to sleep at night. But I decided to see it anyway. It was more of a comedy. The important part was that I spent time with my nephew. On Saturday I hung out with ma' and another nephew. I took my mom to target and a couple other stores to look for those plastic summer chairs. In the late afternoon my whole family came over. Well, at least the older ones. And we had a carne asada, and roasted corn on the cob. It was a good night. Everyone left at midnight.
On Sunday I hung out with both my parents and it was good. Sunday is the only day both of them are there so I decided to skip going to church. I hope God will still let me into heaven. lol.

I got called a racist for trying to help four white ladies.

I'm so glad to be able to hang out with my nephews. Yesterday I took Miguel and Sergio to Jack in the Box. Two young minds. As a conversation starter we talked about how slow the service was. But then we went into prayer, and we can talk to God about anything and when ever where ever. It was good. Last night, I stayed up with one of my other nephews, Adrian talking about David in the bible and trying to get him to think about his life and his future. He like the story of David. It was fun telling it too.

I guess is about time for me to drop a line. Well is been over a week since I got to Pasco. Just like everyother time I've been home on a visit. The time here I spent questioning my faith in trusting God with my next step in life. I've been here helping at the center for sharing with Glenn and Cheryl. And trying to influence thier interns. But I don't think any of them like me. Most of the time is been about confrontation. Which is something I'm used to. But the interns I'm working with are not. They can't hang very long before telling me to get the fuck out of their house or face. And its been all in good faith. Thats one sidel.

Dealing with my family has been hard too. My mom was venting with me when she told me she has tought abou suicide. Its hard to hear that. I wish I had a healthy family but the reality is other. And I care so much for them that it hurts even more.

What to do? What to do? I've been prayful. The center for sharing wants me to come back and live in the duplex with the guy interns and be an influence there. It would be good for them maybe for me to be here and also for my family but what about my desires to finish school and break a cycle. Something I had promised my self from along ago.

I do feel God telling me right now that I need to be a student rigth now.

Well. ladies and gentle dudes. I'm in the city of Pasco. It felt good seeing my family. And seeing some friends of mine whom still reside up here. I'm resting for the time being. On Monday I start teaching with the interns at the center for sharing. So, I'm excited for that. Please keep me in your prayers. I have to drive 20 minutes to get to a coffee shop.

I'm waiting for Debra to come back with my truck so I can go over to my friend Eric's apartment. He is having a get together. He told me he was cooking Italian food. I'm not really hungry though. So, I'm problably not gonne eat. I just wanna get out this house. I'm a little dissapointed in myself. I ruined another relationship in my life. It just doesen't seem like I'm mature enough to care for a mate. Everytime I get my self caught up with one thing or another. And I don't feel close enough to anyone here about the way I feel because I don't think they understand. All, I can do is pray and even thats hard to do sometimes. I hope my trip up north will help me get my stuff straight.