I have been working hard on the summer intern house. Carpet, painting all kinds of things. I got a dog, his name is sparkie, a pitbull less then a year old. Very intellegent. Funny story as well as good.
I went to the 99 cent store to pick up some stuff. And there was an older gentleman trying to find envelopes. We were both in the pet aisle. He asked me if i knew where they were. So, I guided him because I was walking toward aisle four anyway. As I show him where the envelopes were he thanks me and throws me a blessing so I respond by sharing that I myself I'm a Christian. And right away he gets all happy and gives me a hugh and starts praising God in the middle of the store. He was like is the work of th spirit. Then he takes me to meet his wife. And they start praying for me. It was good.
They are both pastors from Cuba.

I believe this is the first time that I have gotten a 3.0gpa. I had a physical oceanograhy, critical thinking English and an English lab. It felt good that my work paid off.

How do you liberate the mind? Coming into terms with my Mexican-American girlfriend. I think about all the influences I have about how a woman and a man should relate to each other. I believe a macho to be strong, leader, provider, caring for his family and for his land. And I believe the woman should be not a "Maria" but understand her role as a Mexican wife. But how can you implant an idea like that into someone who has grown their whole life inside the United States. So, I ask myself why is it hard to cope with her. My Christian friends tell me that its sin inside my heart. But is it sin to expect the values that were planted in my from childhood.
Americans say they want freedom. I ask what kind of freedom or freedom from what? Many people tell me that I'm too Mex. But they don't see what I see. When I look around my community, I see the values implanted in the kids. Listening to music that tells them that freedom means to flaunt yourself or to sell drugs. They rather listen to 50 Cent and don't appreciate Jose Alfredo Jimenez or Pedro Infante.
Is hard to be here. With no green card held prisoner to dependency. But through my thinking and rationalizing I believe He has a plan for me. And what ever it is , is good. Some times I wonder, what if we would of stayed in Mexico? What would it have been of me. Would I be fishing in a panga or something else.
What ever it is, Its only wonder.

The idea of Machismo has been downplayed since I can remember. The "Macho" is seen as a drunkard, womenizer, doesn't take of his family, stays out all night with his friends expecting his wife to be at home taking care of the children and keeping the house. My view of Machismo is the opposite. But as I was washing dishes the idea of "Marianismo" just hit me. If you view realtions between husband and wife in Old Mexico. The machismo is seen in almost every primative marriage or society. And still marriages work. My parents for example, my mom doesn't have many happy times to tell about during her married years to my dad back in Mexico. But if you look at the "Mexican" marriages in the U.S. Mexican women don't take shit from their husbands. The idea of "Marianismo" stayed in Mexico. In Marianismo Mexican women are expected to be pure, good wifes, basically be like servants under their husbands. Take care of the kids, clean the house, get the food, give sex when ever wanted, ect. You get the idea if u don't read about it. Once in the U.S. women are more respected by law, and protected. They can fight back and win. An interesting change if you ask me. Many things are clear to me now about this.

hoping to one day go back to Pasco WA as a college graduate maybe even a master in my field of study i sit and wonder. How i'm i going to combat the cycles that i see in my community youth that bring despair to my life. How i'm i gonne cut the lines holding these immigrant youth from leading a college educated productive life without losing the Latin humbleness and ethics embbeded in us by our cultural community.
Many of these immigrant youth finish high school on top their class fully capable of becoming leading role models in our communities. These are the sons and daughters of the dishwashers, orchard workers and cooks. People with a great work ethic who, if given the opportunity, would take it and excel in it. But having to provide for a families keeps them form becoming succesful in the work area. So, disregarding their fatality and looking at their young children. Whom without a choice were brought into foreign land.
There is fields fields of these young people wanting to achieve higher learning. But to their disatvantage, they are labled illegals eventhough they have been in our school system all of thier lives. Now, they are at the end of the rope.
The unfairness of living this situation young people like me are in.
I feel like i'm in a phase of insomnolence in my inner consciounce about bringing upon change to the unfairness of the situation keeping all these young Mexicans from blooming like a spring field of flowers. These young people don't have the keys to opne doors to all the universities in the U.S.
In my own humble opinion, knowing that yes! it is wrong for these people to be here illegaly, they still deserve a chance at getting an education in spite of thier status. They had no choice but to come over that border into unfamiliar soil. But they could be the fertilizer this soil needs.