Eat somen', wash, finish homework and review for chapter 5 and 6. We have a quiz on monday and a test on wednesday. We have so much work to cover that isn't even funny.

Today was a full day for me. I went to my my 7:30, 3 1/2 hour math class. It went well, not many people showed up today. College is hard, and I think its even harder when you are trying to be a Christian and glorify God. There are times that I have conversations with the people I know, conversations which are good and productive. But there are times when people are just out there saying crazy stuff or acting a fool. This morning in math class someone who sits near me made a comment to the teacher that was a bit out of hand. The teacher didn't respond too well. This persons explanation for the teacher's response was that she needed to get laid. I'm like God how do you want me to respond to your son? I know how to but Its just like, "I don't wanna deal with any bs like that." Its hard to deal with people who don't have a sense.
Later on, I was asking myself why I'm such a loner. Don't have many guy friends my age. Most of the guys I know my age are chasing skirt, hitting the club. After seeking counsel from one of me elder female friends whom seem to understand me better. She told me, part of the problem with finding guy friends is that, usually guys are not open about their feelings (issues) as i am. And I believe part of that. The conversations I have with guys my age. Are 80% of the time about girls. Which It wouldn't be a problem if it was conversations about how to prepare ourselves better or what Godly characters are important to find in a mate. But instead i find myself listening to guys talk about a girl's booty or negative stuff. I hate it.

I have to admit that today was an good day. I got my grades from the fall semester. And i passed all my classes. The Psychology class was the one I was dreading. But I got a C, which was what I was expecting. And i got a couple B's on my other two. I'm a happy camper. 3 classers closer to the completion.

I just got done eating dinner it was good. I had chicken and vegetables plus tofu. I think tofu is also a vegetable. The dinner was good. Eating by myself wasn't too good. I hate having to eat on my own.
I was part of a community dinner that got together once of week but they started meeting on a day that didn't work out for me so I couldn't be part of it anymore. I miss that a lot. Because i was able to catch up with people from the community. Now, I hardly see or know whats going on with anyone.
Now, i'm attending this other church which i thought was going to be more community than it is. There are a few people that I know and I attend a care group. But outside of church and care group. I really don't know many of the members. Except for Trey and Tim. I meet with them once in a while.
I met with Trey last week and he was encouraging me to keep atttending church there. He thinks that I could get more than what i've been getting out of it. My inclinations were to pull back.
But I have a new plan of action.
I'm gonne continue to go. And try to be more proactive when it comes to "fellowship". Because maybe is just me. I'm the one that doesn't know how to fellowship. And be part of a church. Is it me? I don't know
What ever the answer is I'm gonne try to be more proactive in that area.
I think part of the reason for not being encouraged to continue is the response I've gotten from some of the members. But again i might just be reading into things to much. What ever the case maybe. I said I was gonne attend this church for at least until early march. It it works out I might decide to stay longer. If now i'm just gonne continue to find a church that sees to my needs.
Some of those needs are defenetly having to do with my ethnic background. I know some of might say that I'm wrong and that the common denominator is Christ and that we shouldn't have to focus on race and all that. To all of you who say that I say you are wrong. Race plays a big part in my life. In all my life.

I just thought of something. Another reason for wanting to be part of such a church is that at times I don't feel like I don't belong. And again i feel down on myself but I just thought of this great verse that say "the son of man doesn't have a place to lay his head" and that is the truth. I don't have to be like, to fit in. I just have to be sensitive to the spirit and to Gods voice.
Ok. I think i wrote enough for today. This has been extremely good for me. Every time I write is like therapy.

I just got back from watching "21 Grams." An emotionaly strong and compellingly sad movie. The movie is about 3 different characters whose lives intervene through a car accident. An drug addictive widow, a terminaly ill profressor an a ex-convict. It carried a lot of feeling. In several parts through out the movie I almost cried. Tragedy is horrible when it strikes you or near you. Some people can deal with it some cannot.

I connected to some of the characters on different levels. When one of the characters is told by the doctors, her two daughters passed away. Its impossible to not feel her pain and anguish. It made me think about my grandfather Adrian who passed away of cancer. And how my mom felt when she lost her dad. I personally think I wouldn't be able to take, emotionally, someone dear to me if they passed away. Sometimes I think how I would react if either one of my parents were to leave me now. And I pray I don't have to deal with that now.

The ex-convict, played by Benecio del Toro, whos character is also a born again Christian, involved in church and ministry, highly committed to the Lord. Has to go through redemption and receive forgiveness before he can wash away the guilt he is carrying from some of the events that happen to him in the movie. I connected on some level with the character. There is a lot of people out there whom, I caused much pain. I know God has forgiven me....

I didn't give the movie away...'cause I want people to see it. I strongly give it a 5 out of 5. Hat tip to Iñarritu.

This verse helped me today."...For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal" Simply saying that knowing our Lord and Savior outweights our burdens today.

I have been in the office all day. Answering phones, doing my homework and dealing with whatever comes up. Its cold though, rudys should get a heater in this room.
Its been a bit kind of depressing today. I don't know if its the grey sky or what.

I started the winter intercession. I think I'm going to enjoy this class despite the small room we are in and the number of people in the class. My teacher seems to be very interesting as well as some of the characters in the class.