This what Slim Shady wants America to know, don't get offended:


America! We love you! How many people are proud to be citizens of this beautiful country of ours? The stripes and the stars for the rights that men have died for to protect
The women and men who have broke their necks for the freedom of speech the United States government has sworn to uphold. (Yo I want everybody to listen to the words of this song) or so we're told...

Verse 1
I never would've dreamed in a million years I'd see, so many motherfuckin' people who feel like me
who share the same views and the same exact beliefs, it's like a fuckin' army marchin' in back of me
So many lives I touch, so much anger aimed in no particular direction
just sprays and sprays and straight through your radio waves it plays and plays, till it stays stuck in your head for days and days
who woulda thought, standing in this mirror bleachin' my hair, with some peroxide, reachin for a t-shirt to wear
that I would catapult to the forefront of rap like this? How could I predict my words would have an impact like this
I must've struck a chord, with somebody up in the office, cuz Congress keeps telling me I ain't causin' nuthin' but problems
and now they're sayin' I'm in trouble with the government, I'm lovin' it, I shoveled shit all my life/and now I'm dumping it on...

White America!
I could be one of your kids
White America!
Little Eric looks just like this
White America!
Erica loves my shit
I go to TRL, look how many hugs I get


Look at these eyes, baby blue, baby just like yourself, if they were brown Shady lose, Shady sits on the shelf
but Shady's cute, Shady knew Shady's dimples would help, make ladies swoon baby, ooh baby! Look at my sales
Lets do the math, If I was black I would've sold half, I ain't have to graduate from Lincoln High School to know that
but I could rap, so fuck school, I'm too cool to go back, gimme the mic, show me where the fuckin' studio's at
When I was underground, no one gave a fuck I was white, no labels wanted to sign me almost gave up, I was like
Fuck it, until I met Dre, the only one to look past, gave me a chance, and I lit a fire up under his ass
helped him get back to the top, every fan black that I got was probably his in exchange for every white fan that he's got
Like damn, we just swapped. Sittin' back lookin' at shit, wow, I'm like my skin is it starting to work to my benefit now?


Verse 3
See the problem is I speak to suburban kids who otherwise would of never knew these words exist
whose moms probably woulda never gave two squirts of piss, till I created so much motherfuckin' turbulence
straight out the tube, right into your living room I came, and kids flipped when they knew I was produced by Dre
That's all it took, and they were instantly hooked right in, and they connected with me too because I looked like them
that's why they put my lyrics up under this microscope, searchin' with a fine tooth comb, its like this rope
waitin' to choke, tightening around my throat, watching me while I write this, like I don't like this (Nope)
All I hear is: lyrics, lyrics, constant controversy, sponsors working round the clock, to try to stop my concerts early
surely hip hop was never a problem in Harlem only in Boston, after it bothered the fathers of daughters starting to blossom
so now I'm catchin' the flack from these activists when they raggin', actin' like I'm the first rapper to smack a bitch, or say faggot
shit, just look at me like I'm your closest pal, the posterchild, the mother fuckin' spokesman now for...


Outro
So to the parents of America
I am the derringer aimed at little Erica, to attack her character
The ringleader of this circus of worthless pawns
Sent to lead the march right up to the steps of Congress
And piss on the lawns of the White House and replace it with a Parental Advisory sticker
To spit liquor in the faces of in this democracy of hypocrisy
Fuck you Ms. Cheney! Fuck you Tipper Gore! Fuck you with the freest of speech this divided states of embarassment will allow me to have, Fuck you!
I'm just kiddin' America, you know I love you...

Several of the kids have told me that they want me to be their dad. I can't never reply to that all I can do is love them and treat them right. I miss my dad eventhough he has never been very affectionate with me. Everytime I see him I have to steal a kiss, He is soon reaching 70. I remember sitting with him in our truck when I was young. I remember the drive to the city and all the cows we saw on the way along the road. I remember everytime we saw cows he used to ask me whos cows they were and I used to reply they were mine. I remember him helping him to paint the doors he used to make. I remember going with him to pick up materials for work. I remember him teaching me about picking apples and pruning the trees in the orchard. I have friends that grew up with out a dad. I can see their pain and hear their complaint. And it hurts me to see them like that.

Below is a song by Vicente Fernandez I cry for my dad eveytime I listen to this song:
Se van perdiendo en el tiempo
mis años,
se van quedando muy lejos!
ya no me lleva mi padre la mano,
solamente sus consejos.
viven en mi los recuerdos de niño
cuando una estrella deceaba,
como recuerdo a mi padre!
que con esos sonreia
mientras mi madre miraba.
años que vienen despacio, primero
con que lentitud avanzan.
como queria ser grande, recuerdo,
para no quedarme en casa.
y acompanar a mi padre muy lejos
talvez hasta el fin del mundo!
por que mi padre era fuerte,
era muy inteligente!
era mejor que ninguno!
hoy ya no quiero que pasen los años,
por que mi padre ya esta viejo.
se le han cubierto de arrugas
sus manos, y de nieve sus cabellos!
oh! senor, deten el tiempo te pido!
por que tu puedes hacerlo!
por que yo en verdad no entiendo,
Dios mio!por que?
por que se nos va lo bueno?
cuando se cansen un dia tus pasos
yo quiero ser quien los cuide
mientras tanto dame el brazo
y vamos a ver aver que vas a decirme.

I'm waiting for a workgroup to show up before I take off to go watch "The Village" will see if its good or not. Marissa keep checking for a review.

Well the summer program is over. Today was the left day of it. We had a wonderful time at the Santa Monica Pier. It only cost us $9 per child to get on all the rides. I had Christian, Fernando, Rigo, Efrain and Mathew with me. We got on all the rides together. It was fun.

Loving people is hard. Bono writes that love is not the easy thing but its the greatest calling and the most important. I'm still on a quest to find out what that means and if it means something different with every person God puts in our paths. I hurt when I look back into my life and see how horrible I've been at times. I need to learn to let go of the past and focus on the future. I know God is coming back to get us and I want to be ready for when that time comes and I can go home.
My most sincere apologies to all those I've let down. God knows i'm trying. And I thank God for being eternal and everlasting. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Him. I pray God for the true understanding of grace.

New favorite actress Catalina Sandino Moreno. I went to see her film debut "Maria Full Of Grace" or for us Messicans "Maria LLena Eres De Gracia". I like independent films because they have the reality Hollywood takes away from films. This film shows a darker side of Colombia, the drug trade. I don't want to give too much out but I recomended. Plus it doesn't hurt to have Sandino play the main character.

The morning feels good outside. I read and did my devotions and finished the 4 chapter on a book I'm reading called "Thinking Like Jesus" by Barna. I like the book because its practical. I might consider this book for my junior high bible study. We have one week left for our summer day camp. Eventhough is exciting its kind of sad. Next week is the CCDA Youth Conference here at Harambee. I'm looking forward to that because it will be very interesting. We are going to have quite a number of youth here at our center. At my house I'm going to be hosting 19 people. Today we have our last speaker for the summer of our five weeks of racial reconciliation which will be Rudy talking about taking it beyond black and white.

This an interesting article to read its Bill Cosby addressing blacks who blame the "White Man"

http://www.cnsnews.com/ViewSpecialReports.asp?Page=%5CSpecialReports%5Carchive%5C200407%5CSPE20040702a.html

I'm trying to figure out the best way to tell this story. About 9 months before I moved to Pasadena one of my sister moved down here with her son and her man. Her man happened to be one of my brothers associates. Well, I started visiting them and checking in with my sister and the baby. It didn't take long before I figured out that he was beating her and my nephew Calvin. Now I never like this guy not even before they got together. So, finding out about what he was doing to my sister and nephew made me like him even less then I already did. I went out to Rialto several times most of the time on emergency. So, I talked to him seveal times about what he was doing and told him not to hurt them. After he abused them several times I was fed up because evertime something happened my sister would call me but she wouldn't do anything abou it. So, the last time she called before I went out there I called my parents and told them that I was going to go check on and give her one option. Either she and the baby came with or else I would call the cops. So, I went out there it took me all day to find them but finally they ended up showing up at the house before they showed up three guys were wating for them. In my mind I was already thinking this dude knew I was coming but I was wrong. So, as soon as my sister go there I got out of the car and approached them. I grabbed my nephew from her arms and took them both inside the house while him and his friends stayed outside talking. As soon as we went in I notice the bruises on her neck and face and saw how terrefied my nephew was. So I told her that if she didn't come with me I was going to call the cops, she decided to leave with me back to Pasadena. Not before a struggle trying to leave. The next morning we went back because she wanted to get her stuff and the baby's stuff. So, I got a cop to come with us. The officers went inside the house with my sister and noticed that the had a loaded gun in the house. Right away they checked on it and it was stolen out of Sacramento from a cop and on top of finding the gun they found drug stuff. And I didn't know this but he had a meth lab in his garage the officers found that also and before we knew it they had all kinds of teams at the house. He ended up going to jail and I got a few death threats from his family. It didn't fade me one bit. A few days ago I get a call with some information that was a bit disturbing. I guess he was released and its now in Mexico. Thats what that information I got. What I'm thinking is how long its going to take before he tries to contact my sister. There is more to the story but this is just to give you a glimse to keep me and my family in prayer and also pray for this dude.

So I've felt Gods presence all around me and at the same time the devil bickering at my weak faith. I don't know why I feel down. I shouldn't. I've been thinking about the bible study I'm starting this coming saturday. I've invited a few of the older guys. I have a hard time with a lot of these guys because we are so different and at times they are very disrespectful I think it has to deal with what a friend of mine calls young black male pride. Some of them have mentioned that they want to get involved more at the Harambee. When they started talking about that at the same time they started talking about finding a wife at Harambee. I feel like a lot of these guys try to get involved in the summer when they are a higher percentage of available college females, and not because they want to do something with the kids. This is just what I've felt.

I can't believe today I got up at 9am. On the norm I get up at 6 drink some coffee and do my thing with JC. But Its all good I had a long day yesterday. Got up the usual yesterday did something things around the house after that I had my coffee and toast read some prayed some and later I went to church. After church quite few of us headed to the beach to do a little surfing. It wa a good surfing day. I learned something new about surfing yesterday. There is a fine line between the point of lifting your hands off the surfboard and getting on your feet. Its something i can't really explained, its those things that your just learn. We stopped surfing at 8pm because the sun went down and it got kind of chilly. After that we drove to Venice and had dinner at Mao's Kitchen, I had some banging coconut curry which was mighty fine. After dinner we drove back. I stayed up until 12:30 or so chilling on the porch candles lit and chatting with a friend.

Today was a good day. Things went by smooth today I went running in the morning I'm committed to losing the 40lbs I've gained since I got here 5 years ago. So, this morning I started running. I ran for 40 minutes aftter running I did a few sit ups and push ups. After that I showere and got ready for the day. I had the best cup of coffee I've had so far, brought from Costa Rica. I read Proverbs 21 and a chapter in Romans. Before I was able to finish my cup of coffee and bagel Jamaal came from up stairs and we talked for a while. I'm glad I got to talk to him because he left today for a month to Hawaii with one of my house mates. After that a couple moms and their kids came by to ask for a ride. So, like a good samaritan that I try to be I did. Came back from dropping them off and headed over to our family time. The workgroup that is here right now runs the song and skit part of our family time and they do a great job on it. I'll send you some pictures Rudy. After family time I made a ran to get supplies and other things. After coming back I had lunch with the workgroup then drove the kids to swimming. After dropping them off at swimming I spent some time with Ronnie one of the young black guys in our community. His dad is marrying this coming August and asked me to be in his wedding. The only thing is that I have to pay $75 which is not so bad but it will put a small dent in my fundraising, being in the wedding is worth so much more than that so I don't mind paying.
After bringing the kids from swimming I stayed out in the front signing kids out. I enjoy being out front because I talk to the parents and get to know them. After the kids went home I drove all our junior staff and Flo to La Canada to go swim at Frits house. We swam for two hours and had Churche's Chicken. We got back about 8:30 with enough time to take a shower and sow a button on a pair of my shorts. Now I'm here outside on my porch listening to Mana, writing on this so called blog with Deon eating a sandwich.

I was driving to the beach yesterday and as I went pass downtown I saw that X games will be at convention center in LA. Thinking about X games I thought to myself I think I should invent an extreme game. We can call it. Dodging la Migra. I would take a bunch of friends and go make the migra chase us. I haven't thought a lot about it but I think it would be a fine game. Un game muy extremo.

I haven't written on this thing and I think is about time for an update. Well the weekend was good and interesting. I've been hanging out with more friends which is good for the soul. Von came back from North Caroline and is now living in Pasadena and Jesse whom just got done with his BA at UC Riverside is now back in the hood. And of course all the other peeps which hang out here daily. The police were here on Saturday which is kind of cool. They came to serve and protect. We had someone traspassing so we had to call them. Yesterday I went to a couple church services and afterward drove to Santa Monica for a little surfing and hanging out with the twins. Other poeple came and took a stab at surfing and they did pretty good at it. It was great. I got a new chair and its awsome because its lime green.
Well that is all for today kiddies please behave and listen to your parents.

Happy Birthday Rhema. We had banana splits for you down here in California.

Here is a picture of the last group that stayed with me.

Today was good I got up and drove up to apple market to fill my five, gallon water jug. As I turned the corner I found my friend Hannah struggling to make it up to the Fair Oaks and Howard bus stop. Hanna lives in the half way home for women up the street. She has really bad knees and it is hard for her to get around. So every time I see her and I’m driving I offer a ride cause I know she will let me serve. After dropping her off I proceeded on my journey to get water. Driving up Fair Oaks towards the mountains I got a glimpsed at the awesome creations of God. There was no smog so the mountains were nice and clear.

Once again i'm blanked and I can't write or better yet the words don't come out. My friend and his wife are in the hospital watching over their child who was diagnosed with Leukimia. We have been praying for him during this hard time. It just hurts me to see him like this. Only God knows what he is doing.

Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the LORD , "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,
6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.
7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.
8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling-
even the LORD , who is my refuge-
10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.
11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;
12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD , "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

North Carolina is getting a boom in the percentage of Hispanic high school graduates. Go to this site if you want the full article.
http://www.cnn.com/2004/EDUCATION/07/09/hispanic.enrollment.ap/index.html
Federal government is fighting to give recedency to illegal immigrants, so they can qualify for instate tuition. I hope this goes through it will open the door for a lot of people like me.

I just talked to my mom she was telling me that she read Psalm 71 on her way to work and it ministered to her. She was telling me that the lady she rides with is Christian and they jam to worship songs all the way to work. My moms favorite artist is Jorge Soto.
That is awsome news.

Psalm 71
1 In you, O LORD , I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame.
2 Rescue me and deliver me in your righteousness;
turn your ear to me and save me.
3 Be my rock of refuge,
to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
for you are my rock and my fortress.
4 Deliver me, O my God, from the hand of the wicked,
from the grasp of evil and cruel men.
5 For you have been my hope, O Sovereign LORD ,
my confidence since my youth.

6 From birth I have relied on you;
you brought me forth from my mother's womb.
I will ever praise you.
7 I have become like a portent to many,
but you are my strong refuge.
8 My mouth is filled with your praise,
declaring your splendor all day long.
9 Do not cast me away when I am old;
do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
10 For my enemies speak against me;
those who wait to kill me conspire together.
11 They say, "God has forsaken him;
pursue him and seize him,
for no one will rescue him."
12 Be not far from me, O God;
come quickly, O my God, to help me.
13 May my accusers perish in shame;
may those who want to harm me
be covered with scorn and disgrace.

14 But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise you more and more.
15 My mouth will tell of your righteousness,
of your salvation all day long,
though I know not its measure.
16 I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD ;
I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone.
17 Since my youth, O God, you have taught me,
and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
18 Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
your might to all who are to come.

19 Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God,
you who have done great things.
Who, O God, is like you?
20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter,
you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
you will again bring me up.
21 You will increase my honor
and comfort me once again.

22 I will praise you with the harp
for your faithfulness, O my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
O Holy One of Israel.
23 My lips will shout for joy
when I sing praise to you-
I, whom you have redeemed.
24 My tongue will tell of your righteous acts
all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me
have been put to shame and confusion.

The last too post I wrote a long time ago they are not recent. I just thought I put them up there for all to see and read.
Today was a good day, by the time 5 a clock came around i didn't feel tired much. I got up this morning took a shower and got ready for the day. First I handled stuff I had to handle then after that I head it over to the center to fax and make some calls. After sitting with Ana, Rigo and Chabela during lunch I drove Miss Dianna and her class to swimming. Miss Dianna is the first I belive Hispanic person we had as a summer LAUP intern. She is an awsome person and he kids like her a lot, so they tell me. All the kids tell me which teacher they like and dislike. So congrats Miss Dianna you made it with the kids in your class. After dropping them off in swimming I picked up my friend Scott who is doing research in the archves of the former World Wide Church Of God here in Pasadena. He is putting a video together about their history. We had lunch at Maritza's Hut then we came over to the center to visit. Scott is one of the first prayer supporters whom have visit the ministry. We had a good time talking and sharing memories about living in south america. After lunch I went back to get the kids from swimming. I stayed out in front signing kids out as their parents came to pick them up. I had fun hanging out with Jackelyn and Ana both awsome little girls. Later Rigo came out to kick the soccer ball around.
After program i ran home to wash up.
At six we got together as a community to lift up Rudy and his family in prayer. Little Sam Sam is in the hospital. Tomorrow they are going to run some test on him to figure out whats wrong. If you are reading this and believe in the power of God through interceeding in prayer, pray for them.

What a shitty world we live in
empty without nothing
i sit here
when everyone around me seems so fake
what does it take to get out from this place
what is that I feel
so ready to give up
just for a lameless thought
so inbedded in me to the last degree
no one said go and help he
where would i be
what would my thinking be
I can’t say why people go insane
it hurts to see that we waist our time with our politics
He didn’t say take war up on
It hurts it really does
for a mere card we are holding them up
and here am i
a Christian all fucked up
the closer i get to He
the worse i feel, dressed in sorrow and dispair
wanting to come closer and feel the same
cleansed and ready to go
but it does not come to me
Fuck! why me
are you tempting me
i’m here tell me what to do
do i keep going or do i give up here
its getting late and its getting dim
and i can’t see the light coming towards me
please God help me see

Yo no tengo la culpa de ser tan frajil
que so racista, que me siento racista
a caso uno tiene la culpa de aber crecido tapado con el manto
tan greuso de su propia cultura
quien tiene la culpa
de tener sentidos que ahogan el reconosimiento
de saber que es la verdad y que es el mentir

Today was one of the hottest days of the summer so far but it was a good day. I attended service at Northwest Fellowship at 10am. Florence was our teacher this morning she did a good job teaching out of Corinthians. After church I headed over home and waited until one before attending the service at Iglesia Piedra Angular. Pastor Luis did a good job preaching on worship and the importance of worshiping God.
After church I came home and hung out with the workgroup that is here this week. This workgroup comes from a church in Virginia. This is the second time this church has brought a team out. Some of the same people are back this year.
Tomorrow a new week starts and praise God for that. Taking one day at a time and putting one foot in front of the other like my friend Cheryl says.

Getting ready to go to bed. Got a full day ahead of me tomorrow. Meeting Tim in the morning to get a key to his house. He wants me to wait for some delivery guys at his house in the afternoon time. At 9am i'm meeting with some of the intern girls for a bible study I told them i'll be doing with them. After that I'm meeting with my friend Scott Johnson who is here doing research at the World Church Of God. Afte that I'm driving the junior staff for a swimming party at Frits and Nennets home in La Canada. Sometime in the late aftearnoon or after dinner I'm watching a movie with Intervarsity LAUP teams and discussing it after that.

Just got back from the National History Museam at Exposition Park right by USC. The trip was good. We had time to explore in the discovery room and insect museam. After that we went into the butterfly sanctuary which was really neat except for one of our campers killing two butterfly's. After the butterfly massacre we had lunch outside in the yard area under a big tree that provided a lot of shade. It reminded me of Psalm 1. Following lunch I grabed 5 of the boys and headed back into the museam to have a coke in the café. We talked about sleepovers, going to the beach and a possible trip to Washington state. I love these 7 graders they are some good kids. We also got on Fernando for getting in trouble a lot. He is one of the 6th graders who gets into a lot of trouble. Not too long ago he go spelled from school for hitting his teacher in the face with a rock. I feel for Fernando. He just needs a good example to follow. A few days ago there was a driveby done on his house. He comes from a gang family so he sees that all the time.

THE GIVEN LIFE

Romans 6:13-Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as intruments of wickedness, but rather offer yoursleves to God, as those who have been brought from deathe to life: and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of rightousness.

Given Feet
Psalms 40:2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire: he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

Clean Heart
Psalms 51:10 Create in me a pure hear O God, and renew a stedfast spirit within me.
Ephesians 3:17 So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith...
Ephesians 6.6 Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart.

Gods will is for you to believe in His word and follow him.

Given bodies
Ephesians 2:10 For we are Gods workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Romans 12:1 ...I urge you , borthers, in view of Gods mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God-this is your spiritual act of worship
1 Corinthians 6:19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy PSiirt, who is in your, whom you have received from God? You are not your own: you were bought at a price. There fore honor God with your body.

This was my spiritual breakfast this morning.

I woke up tired today, the run I went on was a bit more than the usual. One of my housemates woke me up because I left my truck parked in the driveway and she needed to get to work. I felt bad but she was graceful about it. I'm glad too.
I moved the truck and came in the kitchen as the group that is here was getting ready to go do family time for our little summer campers. Joel the young leader greeted me by asking me how I slept. Joel is good guy. We were at a men's retreat together before he got married. Now he is graduated, married and is working for La Canada Pres. Him and his wife are planning on moving somewhere around northwest pasadena. Thats a good thing. I've been praying for more guys my age that I can be accountable to. Most of the friends I have are women not that I mind but I want to have an equal balance between the brothers and the sisters. I don't want to have a Christian player mentality. I'm thankful for Ramiro wanting to meet with me and go over a book and hold each other accountable.

Today was quite the day. I got up and drove to the DMV to register the suburban we got donated by Meadow Valley Community Church. Thanks Curt and Lori and their daughter Tory. Once I got back from the DMV I took the car to get insured. Later I got the cool job of driving the kids to swimming. After swimming I helped with the afternoon schedule signing kids out and managing the program. Later I had dinner with the Carrascos. After dinner I went over to the corner house to celebrate Dianna's birthday with the intervarsity interns. We had banana splits. After that I went for a 3 mile run which made me feel good. Now i'm at home getting ready to go to bed.

Sometimes I wonder what was going on in Kurt Kobain's head when he wrote this song.

Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam. Sunbeams are not made like me.
Don't expect me to cry for all the reasons you had to die. Don't ever ask your
love of me.

Don't expect me to cry.
Don't expect me to lie.
Don't expect me to die for thee.

Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam. Sunbeams are not made like me.
Don't expect me to cry for all the reasons you had to die. Don't ever ask your
love of me.

Don't expect me to cry.
Don't expect me to lie.
Don't expect me to die for thee.

Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam. Sunbeams are not made like me.
Don't expect me to cry for all the reasons you had to die. Don't ever ask your
love of me.

Don't expect me to cry.
Don't expect me to lie.
Don't expect me to die.
Don't expect me to cry.
Don't expect me to lie.
Don't expect me to die for thee.

I've watching a group of black teens that live in the houses across from mine. They all hang out on the street all day especially since its summer. At the beginning of the week they've insulted the Mexican man that drives through here selling ice cream. A couple of days later I was sitting out on my porch and as a Mexican dude rode passed them on a bycicle they waited for him to be a few houses away from them before they can throw a football at him. Earlier today they threw a fire cracker at a truck that passed by blasting ranchera music. A few minutes ago they were making fun of a young Mexican guy selling cds by imitating his accent. And all while their parents and grandmother is sitting out in front of their house. This is how a lot of racial stuff gets started and it carries over. Now all those people that they insulted are gonne think negatively about blacks. I confronted them once about what they were doing. They pretty much were like whatever.

God is not what you imagine or what you think you understand. If you understand you have failed-Saint Augustine

Yesterday was good. I picked up Agnes and Sookie to go have breakfast at Coco's and do a bible study. The food wasn't that great this time neither was the service but I had a good time talking to them both and reading over scripture. Sookie was talking about how much she longs to learn more about God she has been a Christian for only 3 years and wishes that we at Harambee had bible study almost everyday. She mentioned that she came here with growing spiritually in mind. I enjoy being around Agnes because she was sent here by the ministry that raised me. So she is center for sharing and that means a lot to me. She is also seeking God more and is understanding what it means to live eventhough she doesn't realize it. She bought me a turtle necklece yesterday at Venice Beach during their girls hang out time. I feel so special, sniff, sniff.
I'm attending a church service at Iglesia Piedra Angular. I feel like I should make connections with them because I usher the Spanish speaking people from the community to attend there. And also the pastor and his family are from the same town I'm from in Mexico well not exactly. They are from the neighboring town in Mexico. A few friends are also coming with me.

The house feels nice and quiet. We had a group from Meadow Valley Community Church. They had been here all week helping out witht he first week of the summer day camp. Yesterday was their last day serving so I had a carne asada, guacamole, corn on the cob and some watermelon for dessert. It was a good meal. Later another workgroup shows up. Waiting for them.

Sitting at home eating breakfast some good cheesy scrambled eggs, hot sausage links and some good old style crispy hashbrowns. And of course a good cup of cafe colombiano. In a bit i'm taking our interns to the bank so they can cash their checks. After that I'm gonne be spending some time around the house, fixing things on the outside that need to get fixed. And later on from 3-5 go help out the summer day camp staff with the kids. By the time they are wore out and need extra help. I love hanging out with the kids. We got some interesting characters this year.
Please pray for me. As I spend time with the kids in the community. I don't know why but some of the moms have made sexual remarks towards me. I always respond to them by derailing their comments. But it kind of wears out. So, just pray for me in that regard please.
I ended up dropping the stats class because it was too fast for me. We are talking about putting a 3 1/2 month class into 5 weeks. I was spending from 1pm to almost 12midnight doing homework and wasn't able to finish. I couldn't do it. I was wearing myself out and I don't want to do that. I talked to the teacher and she said just pick it up in the fall. And advice me to go over the book and start working on my research project. So, I'm going to be doing that in the meanwhile. Also, finishing up some books I've been reading.